Australia’s Cycling Culture
I sit here eating my lunch looking out the window of the lunch room enjoying the beautiful vista of Perth’s Swan River. All I really want to be doing is getting out there and enjoying this wonderful winter sunshine. For me I’d chose to enjoy the sun on the back of a bike. Cycling around our wonderful city. For others they may chose to walk/jog around the river shores or perhaps just lazy in the sun with a good book. Sounds great huh?
Whilst enjoying this view and letting my thoughts wander; my eyes are draw to the mass of cars, trucks, and buses clogging up the southern freeway all clamouring to cross the Narrow’s Bridge. Do the drivers of these vehicles even notice the sunshine and river? Would they consider getting out of their steel coffins?
Database replication ain’t as easy as it looks
In a recent meeting I came up with a brilliant (well it appeared as such at the time) solution to user database replication to easily create a copy of a database based system (SharePoint) at a remote location. Well it’s actually on a ship that has a 2 way satellite link. Available bandwidth is an issue, also we need to ensure the documents are available in the event of the loss of data communications. Sounds simple right? Just replicate the database, connect the system up and it’s all good.
Well, that’s what I thought too. What could possibly go wrong?
Rain and Numpty Drivers
What is about wet weather that brings out the numpty driver? It’s bad enough that we have to pit up with these obstructions to good traffic flow, but when it rains they seem to multiply! Are they Gremlins?! Do we have to fear adding water to these menaces on our roads?
The problem is that these drivers, the Numpty, is an overly cautious and/or nervous driver. They aren’t confident behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. They can probably drive ok when no other vehicles or obstacles are in sight. The problem is this isn’t likely to happen in a city. Thus the Numpty is usually in a mold state of panic causing them to frequently make poor judgment calls.
Take this morning as an example. First off it’s raining and dark, so visibility is not good. Even though it’s daylight you still turn your lights on right? Not the Numpty driving his black/grey sedan/SVU. The numpty wouldn’t turn his lights because it won’t help increase HIS visibility and he might forget to turn them off when he gets to his destination. The fact that turn his lights on helps US see him doesn’t venture into the mind if a numpty.
Next is the overly cautious nature of the numpty messing with traffic flow. It’s bad enough when it dry and the numpty can’t work out how to merge, but in the wet he slows down because the “road might be slippery”. Fair enough, back off the accelerator a little and increase the distance between you and the car you are following. But, this doesn’t mean STOP! We’re all trying to get somewhere so drive the damn car a a reasonable pace. 20km/h under the speed limit is NOT reasonable unless it is truly raining cat-n-dogs!
Oh and finally, for the love of god, learn how to go around corners in the wet! Modern car tires have grooves in them to allow the vehicle to perform well in the wet. It’s just water; not black ice! Oh an the same goes for braking. By all means allow a bit more distance, but your not driving a road-train that needs hundreds of meters to slow down!
For the Numpty drivers out there:
Driving in the rain is just like driving when it’s not raining. The difference is you allow a “bit” more space, need to use windscreen wipers, and turn you f#&kn’ lights on! If you can’t do that or your tires are bald and you haven’t changed your windscreen wiper blades since buying you car 3 years ago, the please do everyone else a favor an leave your car at home and take the Bus!
Egg on Face
Has anyone noticed how damn cold it is in the mornings here in Perth? Didn’t think so…
2 weeks of overnight temperatures below 4°C. First time this has happened since records began! In fact most of the time it’s been at or below 0°C at 7am in the morning; coincidently this is the time I’m on my bike riding to work! Brrr…
Other than the cold, the ride is always invigorating and strangely enjoyable. Yes, I know I mad, but then you already knew that right?
Anyway, back to the main reason for this post:
Australia gets it’s first female PM
Well, the slugfest that we were expecting in the battle for the top job fizzled out faster than it was announced. No sooner did we find out that there was to be a leadership ballot, than it was all done and dusted with Kevin Rudd falling on his sword.
As a result we now have our first female PM. Now this is momentous event for our nation, but I can’t help feel that we’ve been ripped off. Why? Simply because Julia Gillard got given the job due to internal Labor Party politics. The voters didn’t get a say; not that we directly vote for our PM in Australia.
So yep, we have a female PM for the first time in our history, but it was more by being in the right place at the right time than actually winning an election. For me this kinda diminishes the event. ![]()
Moving chaos…
Finally the time to move has arrived! This was supposed to happen back in April, but due to various delays with completing construction it’s been pushed back and back until finally we are told:
It’s done! Time to move everyone!
Oh, I should clarify, it’s my work that’s moving, not my home. For the past decade, or most likely more, Clough has been situated at the top end of St Georges Tce. That’s been head-office at least, but many parts of the organisation are spread across the city. So with this move many groups that work together finally get to be located in the same building (some are even on the same floor!). So no more excuses.
So where are we moving to? Our new building (which has our logo on the roof) is located at:
Alluvion
58 Mounts Bay Road
PERTH
Personally, I can’t wait. The only problem I can see is that we’ll have to be a lot more “corporate” than we are now; one of the advantages of being in a separate office to HQ I suppose. Oh, well, I’m sure it’ll be great! Oh, and the views of the Swan river from my office window will make watching the Red Bull Air Race next year MUCH easier… ![]()
Kids say the darndest things…
You’ve gotta love the mind of a kid. They see the world so different to us jaded adults.
Take my 4 year-old son. Yesterday morning I was cutting my finger nails. When I finished I mentioned to my son that he needed his cut too…
His response:
“Why do you need to cut my finger nails? So that I stop picking my nose?” ![]()
My lovely partner answered:
“‘cos your nails are longer than mine & you look like a girl.”
She then asked him: “Do you want some nail polish with those nails?”
To which he nodded “yes”…
Well, we were heading out for the rest of the day and thought he’d forgotten all about the nail cutting and nail polish. But, nope, no this one. He pipes up and asks when he can have his nail polish!?
Well, he sat through the finger nail cutting without a whimper and then demanded his nail polish. He now sports lime-green finger nails and pink/red toenails.
The oldest one, of course, had to follow suit.
So both my sons ended up with finger & toenail polish.
The youngest kept his on all weekend and loved showing it off to anyone who asked. The eldest we asked if he wanted to remove the polish before going back to school. He said yes, which I’m kinda glad because I could just imagine the harassment a 9 year old would get at school by his mates…
Perth Drivers…Numpties!
If you’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting Perth, Western Australia you’ll have noted a number of things:
- The weather here is beautiful! Especially in summer

- The people are generally friendly and laid back
- Public transport is a joke (unless you are near one of the train lines, in which its actually not bad)
- Shopping hours are absurd! No Sunday trading; apparently we all go to church on Sunday’s! :s
- The drivers in Perth don’t have a friggin’ clue!!!
For those who don’t live here (or don’t venture out on the road), let me explain:
As far as I know ALL modern cars (ie, post 1950) have the following items as standard features:
- Rear-view mirrors: no-one here seems to understand what these are for
- Indicators: normally used to tell other drivers what you are going to do (not what you’ve just done or what you plan to do in 20 minutes!)
- Accelerator pedals: apparently these make the car go faster?
- Lights: typically used during times of darkness or foggy/overcast days to allow other drivers to see YOU!
So why is that drivers here still don’t understand how the above items work?





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